When I was just a little boy . . .
For 3 weeks it had been weighing on my mind. I was trying to think how I could get out of it. I could call in sick. I could have someone else do it. I could say that we were not ready yet. So many options. I needed to have an out.
It was only for 10 minutes, but I still have to stand up in front of group of people and speak. I have already had panic attacks in other situations where I felt trapped, and now was I entering another one. In the words of Seth Godin, my Lizard Brain was on full alert and the fight or flight engine was just getting revved up . . .
When I was growing up, I was a little on the shy side. I was very comfortable doing things more independently and often by myself. As I grew, I became more involved with sports and other activities, which were more “social” by nature. I never gravitated to grabbing the spotlight, and I was more comfortable staying behind the scenes. I wasn’t a big risk taker and avoided situations that would would put the spotlight on me.
As I entered my teen years, girls entered the scene. To say I was attracted to girls was an understatement. In order to navigate this new world, I needed to change my game plan. Since I was not naturally adept at social situations, something had to change. That change took the form of smoking, drinking, and drugs. Drinking was especially helpful in letting down my guard. I participated in parties by dancing like Fred Astaire (or so I fondly remember), entering into conversations with other girls gracefully (in my own mind at least), and basically having the confidence in myself that I could never muster on my own.
From the age of 15 to the age of 40, drinking and drugs became a way of life. Then a miracle happened. I surrendered my life to Jesus and everything changed. I mean everything! I stopped the drinking, smoking, drugs, swearing, etc. that were a part of my life for 25 years. I have been free from all of that for 10 years now.
Because through most of my adult life, I was able to navigate social situations with a little help from the bottle, I now was on my own. In all these situations, I was now sober. I had never learned how to effectively do this. I avoided them. Now I am picking up where my 15-year old brain left off.
I have never had panic attacks, heart palpitations, or claustrophobic feelings before, but in the past 10 years, I have had quite a few. My brain had not been properly trained and when I entered situations that were new (to the sober mind), it went on tilt. In almost every way, the last 10 years have been the best of my life, but in this, it has been a struggle. Avoidance was not going to win forever. The last thing I wanted to do was make an a** of myself also. What if I had a panic attack in the middle of a presentation! Oh my gosh, I would be so humiliated! I could not let that happen!
So fast forward to my meeting the other week. I wanted to present. I had something to say. My mind was struggling. I wanted to be there, I didn’t want to be there. I practiced my presentation half a dozen times. I was nervous. I had someone do it with me, and I put a couple of things in place to help me get over my Lizard Brain. It was show time. I went to the meeting and made my presentation. Once I got started, I was fine. The nerves left and things started to flow.
One of the things that have helped me immensely during all of this is prayer. I pray, and I have Julie, my wife, pray for me before I have to present. I trust that the Lord is going to bring me through those situations and He is always faithful to show up just when I need it. He is never early and never late, always right on time. The only thing that is lacking is my faith that He will help me through. I have to exercise it each time.
I continue to believe that my mind is renewed and I am learning the things I never fully walked through when I was younger. The story does not conclude with a nice tidy bow wrapped around it. Our lives are like a line, not a snapshot. Maybe next time I will make an a** of of myself, maybe not. Where I am today is different from where I was yesterday and from where I will be tomorrow. I just know that the future is brighter and I can’t wait to be a part of it.
Perfection? I think I will pass . . .
When you are doing a task, do you feel if it doesn’t get done “right”, you aren’t going to do it at all? What does doing it “right” look like? Is it perfection? Diligent effort over a period of time will produce a high degree of effectiveness, not perfection.
Perfection is: “an exemplification of supreme excellence or an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence”.
I was thinking about this and how easy it is to be in one extreme or another on this matter. One extreme is putting in a half-hearted effort over a long period of time and having only marginal results. Never approaching anything close to what would be considered perfection.
The other extreme is what I want to focus on, putting in so much time into a project because you want to get as close to perfect as you can. This results in one of two things.
- Accomplishing very little, but what you do is as close to perfect as you can get.
- Not starting anything because you know you will not have the time to do it to your level of perfection.
The end result is the same, being ineffective and having minimal influence in those things you do. I work at a church where we have an awesome music department, a great T.V. department, and a strong web presence. I oversee our IT area, along with supporting over 30 websites with a skeleton staff. Our IT staff has shrunk over the past few years and we have lost some good web programmers. We have taken over the support of more of our Outreach ministry websites from volunteers who develop in their own favorite flavor of code. In order for us to accomplish this, we had to change the way we do business. We standardized on developing all our sites in Joomla, realizing we needed to be as effective as we could with the limited resources we had. It was a complete shift in traditional thinking, but it has worked out.
Below is a chart of what perfection should look like. As a co-worker of mine, Matt Leonetti said, “If it passes the mom test, it is good enough”. What does that mean? For those perfectionist out there it is this: If your mom can’t tell the difference between the product (music, video, or web) when you get to the “Sweet Spot”, or when it is done to your level of perfection, it passes.
Perfection robs you of being effective.
Perfection robs you of having an impact.
I am certainly not advocating grinding out shoddy work, but I am suggesting that you aim squarely at the “Sweet Spot” that produces maximum results without wasting time trying to gain a more perfect result, that for the most part, no one would notice. Ask yourself if you can relax your standards to get more accomplished, which in effect, increases your overall effectiveness.
I encourage you strive to be as effective as you can by putting in a consistent diligent effort at all you do, knowing that unfinished work benefits no one. Take the time to look at what you do differently and maximize your results without sacrificing the quality of your work.
Creature Comforts
I am spending the weekend at a Men’s retreat (it’s really called a Men’s Advance) up north in Grand Rapids, MN. We get together with 160 other guys to spend time with the Lord. It is a nice reprieve from the day-to-day routines that can easily distract us. I drove the 3 hours by myself and I and I have my own room. The room is awesome and allows me to really spend quite time with the Lord.
As I was packing, I noticed how much stuff I was bringing for an event that was lasting only 2 nights. Before this weekend I thought I would only need to bring a small carry bag. As I was taking my third trip from the car to my room, I was wondering what in the world happened to that plan! I packed my computer, camera gear, video camera gear, clothes, games, food, and stuff to drink. I also brought things for helping the sleep experience be more like home. This included: a white noise generator, a fan, clock radio, and an additional pillow.
I often wondered if I was a little quirky in hauling all the “stuff” with me to help me sleep better. Even after all the things I brought; the pillow that was in my room was rock hard (I like soft pillows) – plus I brought a small pillow. I also sometimes get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, it was pitch black and I didn’t bring a “night light”. I also forgot a couple of other small things. I was just feeling a little out of whack!
This morning I asked another person how they slept last night, response: terrible. Why I asked. Because they didn’t have their spouse next to them, they usually sleep with additional blankets, and they had a bad recurring dream. As I asked others, they had various disruptions from there normal sleep routine and brought things with to help them sleep better. I was not alone!
It is easy to get used to the creature comforts that we surround ourselves with. It is easy to get distracted when everything is not in place. Even though I am not alone in bringing those small things to make things more comfortable, I will also not be distracted from spending time with the Lord because of it.
Now time to focus!
If I was a rich man
What is a rich man anyway? Is it material wealth? I looked up the definition of rich, and out of the 10 definitions, only one has to do with money. So let’s say it is material wealth, is that a bad thing? Everyone strives to do well financially, so why is it when there is a level of success in that arena, all of a sudden that person is scorned upon?
Is it jealousy or that pious attitude that you know better on what you would do with that wealth than the person or entity that has it? “Well if I had that much money, I would do such and such”.
Isn’t it all relative anyway? I mean the “rich” guy should sell his big house and cool car to live more modestly. Then he could do more for the (fill in the blank) _________. But compared to 90% of the world, we in the US are richer than most everyone. So why don’t you go sell all your stuff, live like they do, and then YOU can do something about whatever “it” is that you are concerned with.
Or maybe it isn’t all the rich people. It is just those rich preachers. You know, all they want is your money. Hmm? I think all churches take offerings. Why do they do that? Is it to just keep the local church afloat? Don’t you think churches want to have influence? If the values and morals that the church represents were to exert a greater influence on society, don’t you think we would live in a better world? I do.
You pay for movie tickets, tickets to the ball game, restaurants to eat out at, and the like. Do you care what they do with your money? No, since you received some value with your purchase, you are satisfied. With the church, you personally benefit and the ability of the church to exert a greater, positive influence on society expands as well.
So what’s the rub then with the church and money? It is as if you become the moral authority and whatever passes the acid test for you, you’re fine with it. Whatever does not, you feel like you have a legitimate gripe. The thing is, there is only one person’s action that you are accountable for, and that’s yours.
Do I agree with everything the “church” does? No, but so what! Tell me, is there anyone, or anything you agree with 100% of the time? I give because of what He has done for me. I give because I want the influence of the church to grow. I give because I want the influence of the Word of God to touch people’s lives. I will leave the management of that money to the people that will ultimately be accountable for how it is used. And personally, the more I have, the more I can give. All to the glory of God!
Are You Moved?
A couple of weeks ago, I had heard some unexpected negative news concerning our Senior Pastor’s health. It was hard to believe. Here is a man who has instilled such great faith in all of his congregation. He is a military man, a rock, and a fighter. With all that he has taught and imparted to us about health and healing, it was stunning. Hello? How could this man, our pastor, be fighting something like this? Well, the fight of your faith commences.
My mom passed away a year and a half ago after battling cancer. She never gave up hope. She was believing for her healing up to the end. So, if she had such great faith and passed away, and now your senior pastor has a health related issue, what are you suppose to think.
So this week, our pastor was going to take some time away to aggressively treat it. Then the news last night, after preliminary testing to determine his treatment, they can’t find anything. Um, what? Nothing? Clean bill of health? Yes, that’s the deal! Great News! God gets all the glory!
So now where is my faith? Do I add up all the people with great faith that didn’t make it and all of the ones that did? I guess I am at 50/50 then. Is that what we are suppose to do?
I don’t think so. We are not suppose to be moved by circumstance. The “news” on the economy is not good. Should I be moved? So and so had a strong marriage and now they are getting a divorce, should I be concerned? My father in-law committed suicide at 50, does this mean our family is cursed?
If my eyes were on other people or circumstances for my faith, I would be toast. That is not your gauge. Some people disappoint, some people are great examples. Circumstances are always in flux. The only true measure is the hope and promise that can only be found in His word. That is your measuring stick. By keeping my eyes on the what He has to say, I find myself breezing through those stormy days. I find myself more grounded and less likely to be blown off course. So, may you find yourself relying on His promises as you navigates the waters of your life.
Backyard Therapy
Now I don’t know about you, but this time of year for me brings renewed hope and excitement as I am finally unlocked from winter’s grip and I am able to get outside. The outdoor season started a little earlier this year because we ventured into syrup making in mid March. This weekend, the weather got into the mid 50′s and the March winds had finally subsided. It was also busy; the Masters was played (a sure sign of Spring), we had commitments on Saturday and Easter was Sunday. Hope and promises were on display all around us in the midst of it all.
Earlier in the week, I picked up seed potatoes for the garden. Now last year, when I got ready to get plant the garden, I waited too long and the seed potatoes were all gone. They sell faster than anything else because they can be put into the ground as soon as the frost is out. Also, the year before, we went on a trip out west and came back to a garden that was lost to the weeds. So, needless to say, I was a little stoked about getting the best of the potatoes, earlier than usual.
I tilled the garden on Friday and I am thinking I can get some cold weather plants in a little early (lettuce, carrots and potatoes). I hacked the raspberry bushes to within a foot of the ground. The trees I trimmed this winter were still on the ground, so I brought those to the composting place. Is everything ready to go? No, but I can feel it. I can see the grass turning from brown to a light green. I can see the buds on the trees plump and full, ready to burst open.
We typically do not take a vacation in the winter so this time of year is especially gratifying. I absolutely love it. In the upcoming weeks we will be moving some shrubs, planting some trees, vegetable garden, and our annual garden, rearranging and expanding our perennial garden, and enjoying every minute of being that much closer to God in the process. We still have a lot of “work” to do, but I cannot wait to get my hands dirty.
With all the changes happening in our lives and the technology world that I live in, this is the best and most satisfying thing that Spring brings. It is theripudic to my soul. This spring, may you also find the time to get your hands dirty and breath in the rich smell of the earth as you plant your own garden.